From birth to adolescence, children have to go through the proce

1. Parents' first EQ class, the baby's cognition of the surrounding is self-learning ability, but parents' planned interaction is the best ecation at this time
please describe all kinds of emotions and emotions of the baby itself and other people in the environment with words
start from simple: happy, sad, afraid, calm, angry
then further understand the advanced emotions accurately: sadness, fear, friendly
finally, to some higher emotions: embarrassment, withdrawal, Anger, etc.
remember not to think that children are born with a lot of knowledge. The baby can judge and analyze self-learning either from family ecation or from TV and other social ecation
distraction is the best intervention method
children aged 2-3 have incomplete cognitive system, and the best way is to divert their attention when their emotions are out of control. Use other more attractive things to save the child from the boring and noisy mood
remember: don't be angry with your child, and reason with your child, it's all the performance of parents with low EQ
how to & quot; Egocentrism & quot; It is the main task of the baby at this stage
(tapping the blackboard, which is the source of future EQ)
let the child know & quot; You & quot& quot; I & quot& quot; He & quot; There are also differences between & quot; Your & quot& quot; My & quot& quot; His & quot; The difference
can start with sharing:
for example, a beautiful little sister came to the family, and the baby was very happy, and took a small apple to give to her sister.
many parents may immediately criticize their children for doing wrong or even for being selfish in the face of this situation
it's only after decades of life that I have accumulated my right and wrong ideas. How can I ask a two or three-year-old child to have the same right and wrong ideas as myself
what can we do
baby: if someone gives you an apple, do you want a big one or a small one
he replied without thinking: big
Yes, you see, you want to get a big one. Do you think Miss would like to receive a big one or a small one
he thought about it and replied, "big one
are you happy if someone gives you a little apple
the baby thinks: not happy
do you think little sister will be happy to receive the apple you gave him
the baby shakes his head thoughtfully: unhappy
do you want your little sister to be happy or unhappy
baby: I hope my little sister is happy
do you think you should give the teacher a big apple or a small one
baby: Big Apple
when I have similar conflicts, please describe the thoughts, feelings and expectations of people from different positions and angles as comprehensively as possible, so that the baby can realize that different people will have different thoughts, feelings and expectations from an early age
this kind of & quot; Decentralization & quot; Thinking training will be the foundation of EQ in the future

2. Egocentrism refers to children's thinking deficiencies e to their low level of thinking development. It means that indivials tend to know things from their own standpoint and point of view, but not from the objective and other people's standpoint and point of view. From being unable to distinguish the self from the outside world to getting rid of the dependence on action and direct perception, being able to distinguish the self from the outside world, representing other people's psychological world, and acquiring the ability of opinion selection. In the early stage of sensorimotor, the egocentrism of children's thinking is that they can't distinguish themselves from the outside world. They live in the "here and now" world completely and don't realize that there is a broader world besides their feelings. At the end of the sensorimotor stage, with the emergence of symbolic function, children can distinguish themselves from the outside world, which is a manifestation of de egocentrism. In the pre operation stage, children's egocentrism of thinking is reflected in the representation level. At this time, although children have formed a representation of things, they can't represent other people's psychological world. What they think and feel is always the same as what they think and feel, and they don't have the ability of opinion selection. After entering the specific operation stage, children's thinking is further de egocentric, which shows that they can understand things from multiple dimensions, and they can realize that different people often hold different views and attitudes towards the same thing, that is, they have the ability of opinion selection. Therefore, Piaget believes that the development of children's thinking from low level to high level is a process of de egocentrism.

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4. The characteristics of egocentricity in adolescence
"egocentricity" was first discovered and proposed by Piaget, which is a term describing a unique way of thinking. Children's egocentrism is a phenomenon of understanding others' feelings and cognition through their own feelings and cognition. Piaget is a self-centered phenomenon found in children's cognitive field, not in the social and moral field, nor in children's consciousness of himself. Children's egocentrism is different from Piaget's original intention. It focuses on interpersonal concern and social concern, regards itself as the center of interpersonal and social concern, and thinks that one's own concern is the concern of others. Children's egocentrism can be represented by two concepts: "unique self" and "imaginary audience"< (1) the unique self is a kind of indivial fiction, which is a mode of independent reasoning system based on indivial will. To expand and absolutize the self's emotion and emotional experience, so as to unify the subjectivity and reality in the self without understanding why other people's feelings and views are different from their own
(2) the imaginary audience
the imaginary audience is the one who "creates" the imaginary audience psychologically. They focus on themselves. At the same time, I think that other people are also paying attention to him and he is his audience. If he takes himself as the focus of attention, he appreciates himself, and then he thinks that everyone appreciates him; He doesn't feel good about himself, and even thinks that other people don't like him. Their joys, sorrows and joys often come from self experience and project their own mood onto others. In terms of development process, adolescence is a turning period from children's extroversion to introversion. Therefore, it has the characteristics of two development trends at the same time, which is a transitional phenomenon in the process of dynamic change.

5. Self centeredness in adolescence
"self centeredness" was first discovered and proposed by Piaget, which is a term describing a unique way of thinking. Children's egocentrism is a phenomenon of understanding others' feelings and cognition through their own feelings and cognition. Piaget is a self-centered phenomenon found in children's cognitive field, not in the social and moral field, nor in children's consciousness of himself. Children's egocentrism is different from Piaget's original intention. It focuses on interpersonal concern and social concern, regards itself as the center of interpersonal and social concern, and thinks that one's own concern is the concern of others. Children's egocentrism can be represented by two concepts: "unique self" and "imaginary audience"
(1) the unique self
the unique self is a kind of indivial fiction, which is a mode of independent reasoning system based on indivial will. To expand and absolutize the self's emotion and emotional experience, so as to unify the subjectivity and reality in the self without understanding why other people's feelings and views are different from their own
(2) the imaginary audience
the imaginary audience is the one who "creates" the imaginary audience psychologically. They focus on themselves. At the same time, I think that other people are also paying attention to him and he is his audience. If he takes himself as the focus of attention, he appreciates himself, and then he thinks that everyone appreciates him; He doesn't feel good about himself, and even thinks that other people don't like him. Their joys, sorrows and joys often come from self experience and project their own mood onto others
in terms of the development process, adolescence is a transition period from children's extroversion to introversion, so it has the characteristics of two development trends at the same time, which is a transitional phenomenon in the process of dynamic change.

6. Adolescence is a period of great changes in physiology and psychology, from about 10 to 19 and 20 years old. It is a transitional period from childhood to althood. It is a complex contradictory period full of independence and dependence, consciousness and childishness
1. The development of self-consciousness refers to an indivial's understanding and attitude towards himself. Self consciousness is the unique subjective initiative of human beings. It is not only a part of personality, but also an important guarantee for indivials to achieve the goal of socialization and improve their personality characteristics. Adolescence is a period of self-consciousness mutation, which is mainly affected by the following three reasons:
(1) physiological reasons: adolescence is at the peak of physical growth and development, height and weight increase. At the same time, sexual maturity begins and sexual consciousness awakens. These rapid changes make children begin to realize that they are no longer children, and there is a "sense of maturity"
(2) psychological reasons: with the rapid development of the body, children and adolescents acquire a new thinking ability, a thinking ability that can analyze and evaluate their own psychological process and inner activities, which is called reflective thinking. They think about themselves through introspective thinking, analyze their own psychological activities, and examine their personality characteristics, moral conct and emotional state
(3) social reasons: parents and teachers begin to put forward higher requirements to them. At the same time, adolescence is facing many problems that need to be decided by itself. All this means that teenagers have to face themselves, introspect themselves and understand themselves. On the other hand, they must constantly adjust the relationship between themselves and their peers in order to occupy a certain position in the group, be recognized and respected by their peers, and be eager to find confidants and friends. In dealing with peers, teenagers not only like to pay attention to and comment on the psychological characteristics and qualities of others, but also like to compare themselves with peers to find out their own advantages and disadvantages. This creates favorable conditions for teenagers' self-ecation< The self-consciousness of adolescents has the following characteristics:
① the development of maturity and independent intention: e to the rapid development of physiology, adolescents begin to realize that they have grown up. With the emergence of this sense of maturity, they hope to participate in alt activities, hope to be respected by others, hope others treat him as an alt, and let themselves enjoy the same rights as alts. In fact, they still need to be attached to their families and alts, so there is often a contradiction between independence and attachment. If parents or alts still treat them as children at this time, they will have dissatisfaction and resistance, and think that it is alts' restraint and surveillance on them. Because of this, adolescents often "confront" their parents and teachers in adolescence, often deliberately showing resistance and alienation intention< (2) self differentiation: there are two kinds of self: one is the self with perceptual ability, thinking ability and behavior ability; The other is the self which can be regarded as the object of objective observation, that is, subjective self and objective self. These two kinds of selves began to differentiate from the initial chaotic state. When adolescence begins to recognize itself, it tries to shape itself and unify itself according to its own wishes, which is the manifestation of adolescent personality reorganization. Therefore, the subjective self contains the idealized self, which can be realistic or fantasy. Clinical psychology believes that the distance between objective self and ideal self is too far, which may be the manifestation of mental health. Some teenagers will inlge in self observation and self intoxication, which will make them divorced from reality, isolated, and even doubt their own authenticity, leading to the disintegration of personality
③ the intensity and depth of self-awareness are increasing: teenagers are eager to know themselves. They often look in the mirror, study their appearance and posture, pay attention to their clothes and appearance, and care about others' opinions and comments on themselves. When young people gather together, they often regard themselves as an object to be observed by others, and less as an observer. Therefore, they like to focus on their own feelings, often exaggerate their emotional feelings, think that his (her) emotional experience is unique. They often think that some laws of nature and society only work for others, but are an exception to themselves. This idea may encourage teenagers to take risks< (4) self evaluation is becoming more and more mature: self evaluation refers to self-evaluation of one's ability and behavior, which is an important mechanism of indivial self-regulation. The development of teenagers' self-evaluation is shown in three aspects: first, the independence of evaluation is increasing; Second, self-evaluation has graally developed from one sidedness to comprehensiveness; Third, the evaluation of oneself has changed from physical characteristics and specific behavior to personality
2. The development of sexual consciousness and the graal maturity of sexual development promote the rapid development of juvenile sexual consciousness. They began to realize the difference between the two sexes, from the curiosity of the opposite sex graally transformed into a hazy attachment to the opposite sex, yearning and approaching tendency. The sexual consciousness is powerfully turbulent and reorganizes the psychological content and structure of teenagers, while the social living conditions and environment restrict and influence their psychological level and behavior style. Therefore, on the surface, there is a boundary between boys and girls, but on the inside, they all have a sense of mystery about the opposite sex, eager and imagining to get close to each other; On the surface, they avoid and alienate each other, but in fact, they are keenly paying attention to each other's behavior, words and deeds and physical changes; On the surface, he is formal and shy in front of the opposite sex. In fact, he often attracts the attention of the opposite sex by loving beauty, being in the limelight, taking risks and even playing pranks. They began to enjoy doing some fine arts, photography, music, dance, watching movies and literary works to cultivate their own sentiment
3. Children with cognitive development enter the stage of formal operation when they are 11 or 12 years old. At this time, their thinking activities have gone beyond specific and perceptual things, freeing form from content, and solving abstract problems by dective reasoning, law inction and factor decomposition
junior high school age is an important period of intellectual development. Perceptual activities have been quite accurate and generalized, comprehensible memory has replaced mechanical memory in the dominant position, the development of abstract logical thinking ability is more rapid, can correctly grasp the concept, and make judgment and reasoning, although the independence and criticality of thinking is not stable and comprehensive, but the unique and creative views on some issues are sometimes more profound than alts. Learning has been able to think independently and process learning materials logically by itself; Learning attitude is more voluntary, assious and active; Learning motivation of specific social significance plays a major role in learning activities
the intelligence of senior high school students is close to maturity, and their intelligence activities are obviously random, that is, they can concentrate and stabilize their attention on the more abstract, boring and difficult learning tasks without direct interest, and can allocate their attention in the more complex learning activities; The observation ability is sometimes more precise, profound and comprehensive than that of ordinary alts; Learning motivation is more far-reaching, learning interest is obviously divided, learning can be summarized according to the system, meaning, classification and cross comprehensive memory of various disciplines, grasp the key and central link of teaching content< However, the speed of psychological development is relatively slow, which makes the physical and mental development in a non-equilibrium state and causes various contradictions in psychological development
(1) the impact of physiological changes on psychological activities: the sense of maturity makes young people want to get rid of everything in childhood as soon as possible, find a new code of conct, and obtain a new social evaluation. And because of the maturity of sexual development, breeding the desire for sex. But it's impossible to express this desire and emotion in public. Under the psychological and physiological driving force, they will feel a strong impact and depression, and thus feel all kinds of confusion and trouble< (2) the contradiction between psychological maturity and childishness: the level of psychological activity in adolescence is often semi mature and semi childish. This is mainly manifested as: 1) resistance and dependence: the strong sense of independence often makes teenagers unwilling to obey the requirements of their parents or teachers, and often in an emotional state of conflict with alts. However, they don't completely get rid of their dependence on their parents. They need help and support from alts in many aspects. ② Closeness and openness: when children enter adolescence, they graally close their hearts and are unwilling to reveal their feelings to others, but at the same time they feel lonely and lonely, hoping to get other people's care and understanding. ③ Bravery and cowardice: in psychological behavior, there are often brave thoughts and behaviors, and even rash impulses, but sometimes they are very shy and retreat, and they are not calm enough in public. ④ Arrogance and Inferiority: it's easy to draw a conclusion on oneself by feeling for a while, and it's easy to overestimate or underestimate oneself if you don't grasp the degree of self-confidence properly; They have a poor tolerance to setbacks, and can have extreme inferiority complex e to accidental failures and setbacks. ⑤ Negation of childhood and attachment to childhood: alt consciousness makes adolescents try to deny their childhood from all aspects, but they also cherish the carefree mentality and simple and clear way of emotional catharsis in childhood, especially when they encounter failures or setbacks, hoping to get the care and protection of their childhood
(3) prone to psychological and behavioral bias: adolescents in adolescence have unbalanced physical and mental development, and will feel a lot of psychological contradictions, pressure and psychological conflicts. If these problems can not be solved smoothly, there may be various problems in emotion, personality characteristics and daily behavior, and even more serious psychological and behavioral bias.

7. Egocentric expansion is a major feature of adolescence. Under the influence of this psychology, teenagers have many changes in emotion, cognition and behavior, and enter the period of solipsism balance. I have observed in practice that egocentrism needs to be adjusted. Whether teenagers can succeed in the transition from ego centered to interpersonal self-centered will directly affect the development of their personality, mental health and socialization in the future. If the transition is not good, it may lead to confusion of self-identity and abnormal psychological development. In practice, I have encountered some cases of teenagers' social maladjustment. In this article, I explore the types and mechanism of deviation behavior caused by the egocentric psychology of junior high school students. And focus on specific cases, to explore the causes of social maladjustment of junior high school students and counseling ways, to help these maladjustment students out of deviant behavior as soon as possible, to achieve a good adaptation of self-identity< First, the origin, characteristics and influence of teenagers' egocentric thinking
in early adolescence, that is, after the age of 11 or 12, teenagers have ushered in the second peak of development, and their self-awareness is also rising. There is an awakening among teenagers, from blind obedience to teachers' authority in childhood to emphasis on self authority. He began to rethink the world and the value of self in the world. His mood fluctuates with the eyes of the people around him. He always thinks that he is performing on the same stage, and everyone is observing himself. He is obsessed with these "imaginary audiences" and hopes to be liked and praised by everyone. In fact, in adolescence, each child is more concerned about themselves, not so much mind to observe each other. So, it's just a young imaginary audience. The coming of adolescent closeness and egocentrism is a necessary stage to mature self-consciousness, an important stage for adolescents to move from imbalance to balance and from instability to stability. This stage has some characteristics of loneliness. A growing self is more serious and persistent than ever. If this kind of emotion is too persistent, it may cause deviation in interpersonal communication and other aspects. From the perspective of sexual initiation in early adolescence, 11-year-old children bid farewell to the extremely alienated sexual bud period of boys and girls, and the second sexual characteristics are in the initiation and maturity. I don't know who to tell about the new sexual experience such as the feelings of the opposite sex I like. I have to write everything in my diary. He raised his vision of the opposite sex to the height of spirit, and tried to get a little warmth from the opposite sex in his loneliness. In the early youth, if the egocentric psychology of the "imaginary audience" is not well adjusted, it will lead to social barriers for young people. Some teenagers feel that they are not likable enough, dare not see others, shrink when things happen, and feel extremely inferior. This kind of psychological deviation spreads to every field of teenagers' life, which will lead to chain reaction. In early youth, children tend to place their personal thoughts, emotions and psychological feelings in an extremely important position. They tend to feel that others do not understand themselves and ignore others' feelings. They become lonely and aloof, or impose personal feelings on others. When they think about themselves and others, they seem to be one-sided and extreme. In terms of cognition, teenagers have more introverted thinking, pay more attention to the inner world and less attention to real life. Cognition has not yet got rid of the dominant position of the specific form of thinking, to see the problem is more superficial, paranoid. It's easy to shift from other people's opinions. Because we can't see the essence of some social phenomena from the positive and negative sides, it's easy to proce conformity behavior (such as chasing famous brands, star worship, etc.), and it's easy to be influenced by bad social atmosphere, resulting in deviation in behavior. Such as computer games, gambling, gangs, theft, robbery, truancy and so on. In terms of emotion, teenagers are at the second peak of development, and their hormones are abnormally active in the body. They are very unstable and impulsive. When they have conflicts with their teachers and peers, they often can't deal with the problems calmly. They argue with their teachers and show rebellious behavior. From all aspects, the self-centered thinking of teenagers has both positive significance and brings them some troubles. Robert Kegan, a famous development psychologist, said: egocentric solipsistic thinking will eventually transform into interpersonal balance thinking. We should not only guide teenagers to understand their own needs, but also be good at coordinating the contradiction between their own needs and the needs of others, and learn to think from the perspective of others, taking into account the needs of others.

8.

The development of self-consciousness goes through three stages: physiological self, social self and psychological self

The development of indivial self-consciousness has gone through the process from physical self to social self, and then to psychological self. Physical self is the most primitive form of self-consciousness. After 3 years old, the development of self-consciousness enters the stage of social self, and psychological self begins to develop and form in adolescence

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comprehensively and deeply understand yourself and find out your position in the real environment. In order to understand the self correctly, we should first understand ourselves comprehensively and profoundly from the three aspects of physiological self, psychological self and social self

Therefore, we should broaden our knowledge, enhance the source of information, and improve our cultural level and accomplishment; Exchange ideas with others, consult others' opinions on yourself, and understand yourself with proper frame of reference. It is beneficial to self construction, self development and interpersonal relationship